Do Better Blues.....Stay or Leave

"If I could do better..then you could better too. But I don't want better, Cause it only gets better wit you!" I'm sure many of us can relate to this lyric from Jhene Aiko's Do Better Blues.... We feel like the person we are currently with is the end all be all. This type of thinking leads many of us to stay in relationships that are well past their expiration dates. We don't want to let go of time invested, pain endured etc....holding on to the idea that it will get better, however, it never does! Why do we stay, when we clearly know in our hearts the relationship is unrepairable? Many of us stay out of FEAR: FEAR of being ALONE, no one WANTS to spend holidays, birthdays etc alone, so we hold on to the one we know will be there. We need someone to be there on those lonely rainy nights! FEAR of the unknown.... new relationships are scary and they make us vulnerable. We would rather deal with the devil we known than the one's we don't! Many us us don't want to take the chance of being hurt AGAIN. FEAR of being financially unstable, when you own homes, cars, etc it makes if even harder for some to leave a relationship. Many will endure mental, physical, emotional and verbal abuse for financial stability! FEAR of hurting someone we once loved. More often than not the demise of the relationship falls on one party, rarely is it ever mutual! One may fall out of love or be at a turning point in life. We may feel obligated to our partner....how can we hurt them when they've done no wrong? When we stay in relationships that are clearly OVER.... You become IRKED by everything that your partner does....even a "Good Morning Baby" can make your skin crawl....this my lead to infidelity and resentment. "My gut told me STAY or LEAVE"......The struggle many of us go through when we are forced to face the reality that our happily ever after was all an illusion is a hard pill to swallow for most. It can take many months, even years to leave failed relationships, prolonging the inevitable....but does anyone really benefit from this? Knowing what I know now, it's always better to LEAVE than to STAY in a DEAD relationship. You risk losing your identity, becoming stressed, even hating your partner! This can be avoided if you are upfront and honest from the first inkling that the relationship may be over. People may not like the truth but they will always respect it more than a lie. If there are children involved ending a dead relationship is IMPERATIVE, many people make the mistake of "staying together for the children" this logic is far from beneficial for the kids. They have a front row seat to your dysfunctional relationship, children do what they see, not what they are told! What they witness will surely affect their future relationships. If your don do if for yourself, leave for the children!  "In a relationship we want 3 things....EYES that won't CRY, LIPS that won't LIE, LOVE THAT WON'T DIE"....if the relationship your are in is not giving you these three things.....YOU CAN DO BETTER!!!! Photo By Mike Mogul!!